I'm new at this. I'm not known for my skill in correctly using the English language, both in speech and in writing. But I'm willing to give it a try.
I'm someone who thinks that self-analysis should be a constant thing, but because I'm a Christian I also believe that the standards we're held to are found in Scripture. That being said, New Years is my favorite holiday. I grew up in a home that was very chaotic, culminating in high school years that I still haven't dealt with completely. Summarized it involved a my parents broken marriage, addictions of family members to heavy narcotics and alcohol (don't ever mix them) and enduring physical and psychological abuse throughout high school. It tore my family apart, and left me with deep scars, a few physical but mainly emotional and psychological. Because of that, I have pretty strong negative associations with traditional family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. So during those painful times, when I felt utterly alone, I claimed New Years as my own. The ray of hope over things I'd like to leave behind.
I love Christian holidays. But it was New Years that back then when I decided that it represented hope. I clung to it rather desperately, seeing it as the celebration as that same nerdy feeling of a blank journal or perfect piece of notebook paper. Celebrating change, especially because at one point in my life, the only hope I had was that things would change someday. My best friend at the time told me that one day I'd be able to look back on this part in life and realize that God sustained me, and got me through it.
So here I am. It's January, and I'm alive. And New Years is still my favorite holiday, because it reminds me of my personal battles that God has fought for me. And, I'm one of those way-too-annoying people who loves self-analysis. New Years is one of the few times in the year when I get to share that with people around me, even extended to complete strangers. It's a season of reflection and change. And having meaningful discussions, sometimes even if it seems obvious that they won't work to establish and seek out any new goals for the coming year.
Finally, I have to say that New Years is one day. But this should be a daily thing- self-examination, and seeking to become who we should be. But it's only truly celebrated on one day of the year. So this year- I hope to be able to follow this post with goals described and then completed. I don't see life as one big checklist, but it helps me put things in perspective.
I'm someone who thinks that self-analysis should be a constant thing, but because I'm a Christian I also believe that the standards we're held to are found in Scripture. That being said, New Years is my favorite holiday. I grew up in a home that was very chaotic, culminating in high school years that I still haven't dealt with completely. Summarized it involved a my parents broken marriage, addictions of family members to heavy narcotics and alcohol (don't ever mix them) and enduring physical and psychological abuse throughout high school. It tore my family apart, and left me with deep scars, a few physical but mainly emotional and psychological. Because of that, I have pretty strong negative associations with traditional family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. So during those painful times, when I felt utterly alone, I claimed New Years as my own. The ray of hope over things I'd like to leave behind.
I love Christian holidays. But it was New Years that back then when I decided that it represented hope. I clung to it rather desperately, seeing it as the celebration as that same nerdy feeling of a blank journal or perfect piece of notebook paper. Celebrating change, especially because at one point in my life, the only hope I had was that things would change someday. My best friend at the time told me that one day I'd be able to look back on this part in life and realize that God sustained me, and got me through it.
So here I am. It's January, and I'm alive. And New Years is still my favorite holiday, because it reminds me of my personal battles that God has fought for me. And, I'm one of those way-too-annoying people who loves self-analysis. New Years is one of the few times in the year when I get to share that with people around me, even extended to complete strangers. It's a season of reflection and change. And having meaningful discussions, sometimes even if it seems obvious that they won't work to establish and seek out any new goals for the coming year.
Finally, I have to say that New Years is one day. But this should be a daily thing- self-examination, and seeking to become who we should be. But it's only truly celebrated on one day of the year. So this year- I hope to be able to follow this post with goals described and then completed. I don't see life as one big checklist, but it helps me put things in perspective.
