day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

"For The Morning" Alli Rogers.
Where am I?

I'm in my college dorm room, or anywhere at college, studying and just trying to make it through the night. It might be an all nighter, or just until 3am. It might be any subject, but chances are it's my psych classes, pushing through cognitive the neurobiology until I just can't anymore. It's black outside, no sounds except the turning of pages or creating of note cards.

It's also driving at night- in the rain. When my passenger is asleep, and there's nothing but the miles under my tires. When it just stretches on forever.

the song captures that desperation when I'm just waiting for the morning to get there.
a reminder that God's mercies are, indeed... new every morning. Praising God even when it's midnight.
That desperate plea for hope.

day 5: Songs that reminds you of People, and follow friday

I love memories. They are so important to human relationships. So I'm going to cheat and choose a few songs and the people they mean to me. I'm also trying to incorporate Follow Friday's (though technically published on Saturday...) into my blog... so this is a convenient way to do it. I decided to pick 5 songs that come up on my play count often who immediately seemed tagged to people .


3x5 (John Meyer): Jason Carr and my trip to Alaska. Jason made me two mix cd's for my 6,000 mile roadtrip. (One way, of course). This song really reminds me to make the most of every moment and not to try to capture everything. Some things... just can't be captured by photographs, or blogs, or even words of any kind. My roadtrip to Alaska was very much that way. This is just one way that he balances me, leads, and loves me.


There Can be Miracles (Prince of Egypt Soundtrack): Kiernan Schroeder and our singing adventures. We had hoped for a while to be able to sing this song as a duet. It would have been fantastic. She's a writer, soon to be a teacher in Colorado. She has literary insight that I lack in so many ways, her blog is so worth a check out.

One Life to live (33 Miles): Victoria Harper. A Christian country/rock band. Worth your time to check them out! In my senior year at college, I actually won tickets to see them in concert as they did a pro-life tour where all donations supported local pregnancy centers. Love the band. Victoria was supposed to go with me, but she has prior obligations, so I took her boyfriend, now husband. Her story is now the opposite of mine: originally living in San Diego, now living on a farm/ranch in the middle of Wyoming. Her blog is raw, honest, and real.

Baba O'Riley (The Who): Shannon Finn. My sister all throughout college! Polar opposites on most things, but a friendship born in the fires of difficulty. She was my kindred spirit through psychology and our Hillsdale journeys. We conquered tears, bad choices, lousy friends together. I love this girl so much! Recently she graduated from IVY LEAGE Penn University with her Masters in Criminology, and then decided to be a nanny in Ireland for the summer. Her adventures, and mishaps- are chronicled on her Wordpress. I think someday it will be a romantic comedy film :) From being mugged in the City of Brotherly Scary People (Philly) and to being hit on by a creepy cross dresser in an Irish pub, she writes vividly.  This song got us through many long study nights together, and will always be tied to her sassy, glamourous and stubborn personality :)

Seth is the dude on the right, and yes I'm in a wedding dress

Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve): Seth Twomey. This guy and I skipped so many classes together. We both joked about how it was bad. He eventually failed a lot of classes and then went to another school and is doing awesome! I managed decent grades and tried to have more self-control. But I have so many amazing, spontaneous memories. This song was always one of our favorites for our random road trips.

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

Song Challenge: A Song that makes me Sad.

What is more sorrowful than to see suffering, and to see false hope offered? 

 "Sing for the Moment" Eminem. 


This is a song I can't recommend you listen to, mainly because of the language content. I found it in a time in my life when language in music didn't bother me that much, which I'm finding I can't say anymore.


But I'll stand by my assessment of the accuracy of this songs lyrics. I may not have a ton of respect for Eminem, but I will say that I have no doubt that he loves Detroit, will work for that city to be great again, and that he has a great amount of musical talent, especially lyrically. 


It's a song about brokenness. About inner city kids struggling to have hope, and not sure who or what to turn to. How being a rapper is a business while also finding that he's an idol for these kids who have nothing else to cling to but knowing someone got out- someone could do it. 

I guess words ..... they can be great

Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate

It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make

Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum

Now how the **** did this metamorphosis happen

From standin' on corners and porches just rappin'

To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ***

They think there's nothing in their future. This song, more than many others, captures the essence of despair of not having hope.  It's  the American dream that happened for someone, but probably... not for them.

Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me 

It's about music being part of your soul. About channeling some of the anguish, hurt, intense anger- all things that arise in broken homes. About not being able to trust anyone. About no one trusting you. 

He's a problem child

And what bothers him all comes out

when he talks about his ******' dad walkin' out

Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out

If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out

About waiting for something to push one over the edge, and just wondering when. 


About the absence of peace. Entirely. 

In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum 

It's also about responsibility- and attacks from the media holding rappers responsible for the violence in 
youth. Personally, I think there's both sides to that coin. But I won't argue with Eminem when he says

They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the ***** cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the ***** affectin' our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail

The song concludes with Eminem talking about why his influence is important- so those kids can see that someone did get out. That it's possible. That dreams can enter reality, and that their future isn't necessarily just like their present. 


That there's hope. 

That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing

Except for a dream, and a *****' rap magazine

Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long

Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs

Or for anyone who's ever been through **** in their lives

Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die

Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe

We're nothin' to you but we're the ******' **** in they eyes

That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, 

squeeze it and hold it

Cause we consider these minutes golden

And maybe they'll admit it when we're goneJust let our spirits live on,

 through our lyrics that you hear in our

songs and we can...  

So I give Eminem credit where credit is due. 

He writes with vibrance, shocking honesty, and he certainly knows how to reach people. He has a passion and energy for his city that I think is inspiring. He's not the only one. A good friend of mine, Dean, also has a passion for Detroit. Check out his journeys to providing real hope to Detroit here.  

Too bad Eminem's wishes are a waste. This song to me, will always represent the tragedy of the lost world. It's the perfect reminder of where we would be without Jesus Christ's sacrifice, and I think that's a perspective worth having (not that you should listen to the song to achieve that). 

There can be no hope without a Savior.  So this song makes me sad because it reminds me of how many young people are lost, hurt, angry, betrayed, and haven't turned to the Shepherd, the Healer, the Judge, and the Faithful, Almighty God. 

Wedding 2: Assyrian Ceremony and Reception

"Hey Jason, we have another wedding to go to this month- one of the girls from my small group is getting married."

"Ok- sounds good.   Details?"

"Well, for starters, it's Assyrian! Sunday, June 18th.

 Ceremony is at 1:30and the reception is at.... 6:30pm...huh..." 

"Why on earth would the reception be so much later than the ceremony?"

"I have no idea...." 

Thus began the adventure of the Assyrian Wedding. It was between the wedding of my very dear friend Grace and her fiance, Mark. Grace and I have had the pleasure of being in the same small group for the past year, and also in the same accountability group. We've shared praises, prayers, fears, sins, and more than anything, a deep love for God and His Word. I love, love, love her.


Ceremony
            The ceremony was not in the Assyrian church, so the only different things that I noticed were mainly in the audience, and also of course, the assyrian homily.  I'll comment first on the cultural differences I noticed, and then more importantly, on the ceremony. My apologies that some of the photos aren't very good quality. I didn't have the best seat for photo taking.


1) Far less attendee's than the reception. The reception had easily 2x the amount of people than the ceremony.


2) Assyrians and (middle easterners in general)  are a noisy bunch. Through talking to my friends at the wedding, they explained that it's not seen as rude to talk during processionals, or essentially when someone like the Pastor or couple are silent. So when Grace and Mark took communion together, everyone, including the Assyrian pastor and bridesmaids started chatting.


3) The wedding ceremony and reception are usually held with hours in between in middle eastern customs. Jason and I were surprised by this. That explained our queries at the beginning.

What I noticed...
a broadly smiling man waiting eagerly. It was clear to me that the other details of a wedding that might distract someone were far from his mind. He was excited to see his bride.







I noticed that each attendant, and the matron of honor (the older sister of one of the amazing girls in my small group)- couldn't stop grinning. That's usually true, it just seemed to really stand out to me in this processional. I can say from personal experience, that there are few things as happy and wonderful than getting to participate in a couple's wedding that you know are made for each other and that God made them that way. Sharing, as a witness to that Covenant, is simply wonderful.

I noticed that as Grace walked down the aisle, given away by her brother, she looked not only absolutely beautiful, but completely serene and so full of peace. And yet at the same time, she looked, well... impatient.  After all, I know her feelings on the day. Though her wedding and reception was well planned, and the guests wonderfully cared for, the day was not about those things. Though there was dancing, and fabulous food, and lots of music, it was about two people coming together before God, and being united through Him.


She wouldn't have cared if something had gone wrong, so long as she was able to marry Mark. Which, she did. :) Yet ready as she was to be a married woman, she took everything in stride, at a pace that was appropriate. She delicately walked down the aisle.

 During the ceremony, I noticed how Grace and Mark sometimes fell into almost forgetting that others were around. Their eyes were for each other, offering smiles and joy- or, as the Assyrian homily said (from what I could gather) and the grace of God to each other. They were talking to each other, laughing at each other, simply enjoying every moment of a very busy and long day. 

I noticed how the Pastor joked how they had already joined hands, because it was so obvious to everyone that there was not an option of not holding each others hands throughout the ceremony. No letting go. 

One of my most favorite photos I was able to get from my middle of the row seat was this one. It captures what their wedding was all about. Submitting, surrendering, coming before Almighty God through the power of the Cross. And, the cross was far more important, and far more emphasized, than either of them. 

They were vessels of God's glory that day. And, I am sure- in the days to come. I am so proud to say that  like the last wedding I went to, it was an event to share the Gospel, proclaim Truth, and to point people to Jesus. 

What higher purpose is there? 

They were charged with no higher calling than to be worthy of the name of Christ. To be His love to each other. To love as Christ demonstrated. To submit. 

There was humor. Grace is a wide variety of facial expressions. 

I love all of them. 

This is an expression I saw many, many times that night. 

So many times I saw her look like at him with an expression that I can guess at. It's one I have a lot too, but especially when Jason reads the Bible to me, or we confess sins to each other. Or when we're in church together. Or when he tells me that soon I'll get a kitty. 

best friend. 

admiration. 

trust. 

respect that has been earned through many trials. 

absolute security. 

faith. 

hope and expectations for the future. 

to name a few facets. 

I loved seeing them pray together. 

From talking to Grace, I know that's a habit of theirs, a good one. 

They had special music, Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I Will Be Here." Mark sang all the words to his wife, though only she could hear. 

Reception
   A few quick photos of the setting... and the cake :)

Now I have to say that I was thrilled to go to this reception. I'd been told by the girls in my small group some of the Assyrian traditions, like the assyrian wedding scarves. I hope to make them at some point, it would be a wonderful experience and project.  

Here are some more photos of them that I could find. It was surprisingly difficult to find on the internet. I did however, find the most amusing video of an old white man doing a "wedding napkin dance."  I had to share. 

So I knew that the women would dance with those scarves, which make a ton of noise. The men dance with canes that have beads all over them as well. 

 Here, the women were getting ready for something: The entrance of the King and Queen of the night, as I found out- as soon as the bride and groom entered.


As soon as they entered, they were swallowed.


That's what I could describe it anyways. They were immediately surrounded by dancing women, doing a traditional wedding entrance dance, called the Khigga.  As mentioned prior, the women danced with yalekhta, the men copala.  They entered, also dancing enthusiastically, dancing all the way to their cake, where they cut it together. 


It then turned into a giant line dance. This line dance wove around tables, in and out of the reception doors, always moving. Led by the guy holding the large copala, he was a great dancer. 


The music and dancing was wonderful to watch, though hard to figure out. The step pattern was a mix of side to sides and front to backs, all in a left left then right right left left right left right constantly switching. Over the night Jason seemed to kind of get the hang of it, I just... well, faked it. In my defense, at least I tried it, and I did have a ton of fun, but I couldn't tell who to follow, and I couldn't see people's steps half the time. It was not ideal learning conditions. 


Eventually the bride and groom made it to their table, where they continued to dance and clap along while the guests line danced all over the place. 


What I noticed... 


Mark is not Assyrian. But aside from not looking the role, you wouldn't have known that. He certainly seemed to enjoy the dances and festivities just as much if not more than any Assyrian there. He also knew his stuff.  He had clearly put in time and effort. 


I know from Grace that he's been learning the language, not only speaking it, but also reading and writing, which some of my Assyrian small group ladies can't even do. Impressive, for many reasons, two being... 


1) It's always difficult to understand, let alone embrace and participate in a culture that is not your own. 


2) Mark went the extra mile here, more than any of us can probably ever know. I know that it was not an easy integration of two families, Grace's background being Assyrian, his being Korean. Some took marrying outside of the Assyrian "clan" as not right, and rather than give up, or make Grace shoulder all the burden of mediating between her husband and her culture, he is making so many important (and cool) aspects of her culture his. 


I've only met him once. At the wedding.  But you don't have to know a person for a grand amount of time to tell some very fundamental things about them.  I know that Mark loves Jesus Christ. I know that Mark is striving (and succeeding I'd say) at loving her as Jesus loved the church. 


Most Awesome Part of Reception
   How can I tell those things? Apart from witnessing them together, the praises Grace has given me over the months? One large indicator was one of the coolest things I've ever seen at a wedding. 


After the toasts and well wishes from his father, and the best man and matron of honor, the MC announced that Mark would like to address the guests. He and Grace stood together... and he promised to only speak for 2 minutes. 


They thanked the guests... and then said that they wanted to share something with us, and had agreed that now was the time to do it. 


The union they had just covenanted became so clear in this moment. 


With Mark leading, and speaking the words they both had chosen and whole heartedly believed together, they shared the Gospel. The Truth of Scripture. The love of Jesus Christ. The Good News. He said he knew there were lots of different faiths and belief systems in the room, but that God had revealed Himself in the Bible, and wanted sinners to be reconciled with Him. 


To be honest, I don't remember the exact points that they shared. I remember with absolute clarity the feeling that I was bursting with pride over my friends (Mark and I were friends by the point, even though he probably still doesn't know it!) and their amazing testimony to our Savior. Myself, and the other members of my table, most of whom were all members of Harvest- heartily "Amen'd!" during his speech. It was not voluntary, but essential. We were told later that it gave them much needed encouragement. I was thrilled to be a help in such an awesome thing. 

Then came a few American traditions- the bride danced with her brother, and the groom then cut in. I was surprised that it was Rascal Flats for the first song, and a Christian song I didn't know for the second. I think I expected something Assyrian. 


I didn't know the words, but I caught many of them- it was about God's design in bringing two lives together. 
Mark knew all the words, and sang them to his wife. 


Congratulations to both of you!! I am proud to know such wonderfully vibrant, faithful people. I look forward to our next encounters with a ton of excitement, and knowing that our friendship is already built upon the best foundation.

My Daddy

My Dad is not a perfect man. Not one is. But he comes really close.

My dad taught me to love adventures, and to make them yourself. With him I've explored gold dredges, beaches, mountains, eagle's nests, remote villages.

I've traveled all over Alaska, from the beaches on the Kenai Peninsula to the beaches in Nome. This photo is Bishops Beach in Homer, Alaska. 

With my dad, we've driven across 

across all the states in New England, shared a lobster dinner on the coast of Maine and seen from the top of the Empire State building. 

The lobster dinner was delicious, but overrated we both decided. Given the choice, we'd rather have Alaskan King Crab.

 However... the company at this particular feast did add to the experience....

That was one very experienced and determined sea gull. He seemed upset and miffed that we didn't feed him immediately.

The moment my dad got up he took his place at the table... grabbed a napkin and ate it. Then he flew off.

We've visited countless museums. My dad taught me patience and how to appreciate things that are really old. Or are at least modeled after old things. This museum was the Mystic Seaport: The Museum of America and the Sea. It was more interesting to my dad, but that doesn't mean I didn't really enjoy it. 

 When he visited in Chicago, we visited the Museum of Science and Industry. It was a huge hit. Again, it made me appreciate how my dad helped me pick a man worth marrying... Jason and my dad are very similar in many ways.... especially museums. 

We've explored tons of waterfalls all over Alaska. Gorgeous and private. We also road tripped to see "The Great One," Niagara Falls. That was a ton of fun. 

We went to check out the big cities we'd never seen. Boston. New York City. We got stuck in Manhattan with our car in New Jersey and had to take a $60 cab ride back over. But it was worth it. 

And most of all, I have amazing memories of how my dad helped us in our wedding. Helped pay for it, helped give assurances on my decisions. I was sad, he couldn't be there a lot during the process of planning the big day, but really, he didn't need to be. He'd already prepared me for the trials, how to make decisions, how to manage money wisely, and most importantly, how to look for a godly man.  

My dad's never been perfect, he never will be. But he's a fantastic father who has never let me down. He's helped teach me, and some of the most profitable conversations I've ever had have been with my father.  I learned so much from him growing up, and I know I still do so now and in the years to come.  He never claimed to have all the answers, he never claimed to always live like he should. But he taught me where to go for the answers: God's Word. And he taught me to strive to live how Jesus wants us to, even if we may never achieve it perfectly. 

I'm so proud to be his daughter. Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you. 

Coming soon: my first Assyrian Wedding! Preview...

Coming soon! My blog about my first Assyrian wedding and what I noticed. This will make the second wedding of the summer, and the second in Chicago. To tide you over... and to share some photos of my adventure right away... Enjoy! More to come as soon as possible. So much to say about this wedding... what a wonderful experience tonight was.

Super Pretty Dress... details soon!

God-honoring ceremony: thing that came to my mind: service.  

Assyrian traditions!

Learning... how to dance...

Recipe: Espresso Chili Rub Chicken

Great recipe for so many reasons: it's fast, it's healthy, it's full of flavor, it's easy to modify. 

This is a wonderful seasoning rub that you can create ahead of time and use at your convenience as well, goes really well with chicken, beef or seafood. I think it would do pretty well on a pork tenderloin as well. 

Ingredients: 

2 tbsp dark brown sugar 

1 tbsp ground espresso coffee

1 tbps ground coriander

2 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground ginger

1-2 tsp red chile flakes or chili powder

salt and pepper

For my recipe, I used two boneless, skinless, chicken breasts that I cut into slices, so I could have strips for making wraps or setting on top of rice, etc. I also modified the recipe to include less sugar, and instead of chile flakes I used a fresh ground red  (bright red!) pepper that I found in the Mexican section of our market. All the packaging was in Spanish, but I can tell you it added a ton of heat. Leaves me wondering what kind of peppers they used! 

After tossing the chicken in the rub and coating it evenly, I put it in a skillet, poured two tbsp of white wine over and cooked it on high heat. The wine helped all the ingredients to stick to the chicken nice and evenly. Very tasty. 

I decided to make a wrap with mine; using a garden spinach tortilla, greek yogurt, and red leaf lettuce to cool down some of the spice. Jason used hummus and cucumber to do the same. 

Tampering with blog design...

I'm trying a few new things here on the blog site... pages, re-labeling all of my posts for greater consistency... and hoping to add a few elements to class it up a bit. 


It's a bit more difficult than I expected, so slow going from here, but in the end I hope it will be more useful, easier navigation, and more enjoyable. Plus look cooler. 

Day 3: A song that makes you happy

Day 3: a song that makes me happy... 

There's a lot of them out there. A song for each mood actually. About (ages ago) I think a month? I endeavored to make mix cd's for whomever requested them first on my twitter and facebook pages (see, it's totally worth following my antics). I've since actually made progress, I promise to those waiting eagerly. There's so much music out there! So many songs that have touched my memory in specific ways, tied to experiences. 

This song is one that makes me happy, but I don't think I'd like it much if not for the lyrics. They are so true, so powerfully packed with things I need to constantly remember. That's what strikes me. And maybe happy is a misleading word, as so much thankfulness and awe at ou Savior. 

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn't mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future's so far
My heart is so frail
I think I'd rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown But You love me anyway I am the sweat from Your brow But You love me anyway I am the nail in Your wrist But You love me anyway I am Judas' kiss But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me