No going back...

I'm getting married in less than 100 days. At this exact point in time, I'm not really sure how many days- I don't really keep count to be honest. We're doing intense pre-marital counseling, thankfully- lots of hard questions tasked about each other and ourselves. Why would I submit myself to such rigorous examination, to ask the questions I may not want to answer... and share them with people?

Because marriage matters. Aside from the concept and decision of salvation, it is most probably that getting married is the most important decision I can make. And a while ago, I had to answer this question, and it's resonated long with me until now, when I feel the need to address it.

Question: What are your thoughts regarding divorce? Are you willing to make a commitment that you will not be able to turn back from?

I believe that Scripture is pretty clear on the issue of divorce. The only two possibilities for permissible divorce are on the instances of adultery, and then if one spouse is not a Christian, and decides that it is not a relationship they desire any longer.

So that leaves me at the second part of the question: are you willing to commit- and never to turn back? To choose one person, and to seal the deal in permanent ink?

My first thought is that I'm glad it didn't ask me if I was ready. Tonight, and most likely only tonight- I seem nervous. The serious nature of marriage is huge. It's beyond what I thought I understood before, and I thought I understood it pretty well back then.

God bothered- to design a metaphor for His most precious act in all of human history. He designed it in a tangible way that we can not only witness, but participate in- truly experience. We can feel, we can act, we live marriage. Marriage is the metaphor for the Savior of this fallen world, Jesus Christ, and the act of redeeming his Church, those who have placed their faith, trust, and lot with Him. Jesus is described as the Bridegroom, the church is His bride.

In studying what the Bible says about marriage, what the 'world' says about marriage- I'm simply at a loss for words. Something so serious: lasts forever, and should be representative of the relationship Christ has with His church. Thus, married people are tasked with two seemingly impossible tasks:

1- stay together.

2- stay united in love and submission.

Not only do they have this duty to each other, but upon entering the Covenantal relationship of marriage, they are partaking in something that makes them a public witness. They are an example to Christ's names. Now, as individuals, Christians should already be aware of such a responsibility. But as married people- it's compounded. And also compounded in difficulty.

It's early morning, almost 3am. And I'm having one of those moments where my feelings are overriding what I know, what I believe- what is true. I know that the task before me is possible, and infinitely wonderful, an incredible blessing. But right now it seems daunting, and so, so scary. And it makes me wonder how I can really know if I'm ready for such an amazing, terrifying thing.