It was the most murderous gun rampage in U.S. history: 32 people dead, more than a dozen injured.It was the most murderous gun rampage in U.S. history: 32 people dead, more than a dozen injured.
Facebook support groups emerged... with devastation.
I was a freshman at Hillsdale then, here in Michigan, approximately 700 miles from Virginia. I lived in Virginia for about 9 years or so, going to a Christian, classical, private school there from 5th grade until graduation. It was difficult, it was small, and I still have some amazing friends that I speak to often, even now years and years later. I'd decided to go to college out of state, where many of my friends decided to go with state tuition, and VA does have many amazing colleges and universities.
I got out of American Heritage, with Dr. Mitchell, an exhausting day. I don't remember what time it was, but I got out of class in a rush having noticed I'd missed many calls from friends back home, something a bit odd for a Monday afternoon. I called Sara, my best girlfriend back...
"Hannah! have you heard from Andrew? Is he ok? What about Shawn??"
"Huh? What are you talking about... "
lost and confused could not even beging to describe trying to put the pieces together of the snippets of things I was hearing. What she babbled to me all in a rush was if I had heard from Andrew because of the massive shooting that was going on, or had happened at Virginia Tech that morning. At that point, there was so much confusion as to what was the state of things... if the shooter was alive, if there was more than one, how many victims, etc. The Andrew she mentioned was my crazy but awesome friend Andrew, who she mistakenly thought went to Vtech, but who attended UVA. That was an amazing relief, knowing he was safe. Shawn also did not attend Vtech, she was glad to remember...
I was standing outside of Lane Hall, on the grass. It was warm outside, the sun was shining. Students were milling about, I could hear their idle chatter in the background. But I was no longer a part of this campus. I was processing what I had just realized; what the others did not know but soon would- how the world would never be the same.
->That a student at a major, popular and highly respected university had constructed a plot to kill as many students and faculty as possible,
and had succeeded.
I didn't know how many yet, except that even initial counts put it as the highest body count and bloodiest school shooting to date. It was beyond history, it was a massacre.
Through the grapevine of our school, I also slowly found out that all my former schoolmates were safe and had not been harmed. I secluded myself in my room to watch news reports, scan all aspects of the media to learn as much as I could. I'd never felt so distanced and so stranded from where I wanted to be.
Such research revealed a horrifying thing... there were a number of students still missing and unaccounted for, among them Nicole White, a friend from the youth group at my church.
Facebook groups emerged with urgents calls to pray for her, and I stayed glued to it's updates from the people who were more connected. Phone calls were exchanged, but as every minute passed, it was soon known to us what was soon announced: Nicole had been in the class that Cho Seung-Hui had attacked.
I don't think I went to class for the next two days. Too much had happened, too much to process, and being separated from my friends and family who were in pain and taking part in a state-wide period of grieving was surreal. I felt kind of stranded in Hillsdale, where people were shocked but distinctly separate, and moved on with feelings of
"I'm so glad that wouldn't happen here"
"If anything like that started, enough Hillsdale people would have guns to stop him!"
Ah yes. The whole question of gun control then came up again, and again, and again. How did Seung-Hui make it through the screening?
So many questions of how this could have been avoided. If Seung-Hui was such a textbook case, then why weren't his threats taken more seriously? How did people not notice? Or was that part of the problem to begin with- that he had gone completely unnoticed by his peers, step one of alienating him entirely from the people he soon planned to murder.
Antisocial Personality Disorder- that all that there is to say about the cause for the tragedy? I don't think so.
But at this time, I'm laying aside the questions my major has equipped me to ask and sometimes answer. It's a time to remember, to honor the legacy of those who were killed, and to join with their families, who will not be able to forget or truly move on. It's another aspect of perspective...
realizing the world that we live in is sometimes volatile, and our lives can be changed in an instant by someone we may never have known or interacted with, but when lives collide, cannot be undone. It's a harsh remembrance that life is unpredictable, nothing really is for sure as long as it is in the hands of mankind.
so live with meaning.
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