Wedding 2: Assyrian Ceremony and Reception

"Hey Jason, we have another wedding to go to this month- one of the girls from my small group is getting married."

"Ok- sounds good.   Details?"

"Well, for starters, it's Assyrian! Sunday, June 18th.

 Ceremony is at 1:30and the reception is at.... 6:30pm...huh..." 

"Why on earth would the reception be so much later than the ceremony?"

"I have no idea...." 

Thus began the adventure of the Assyrian Wedding. It was between the wedding of my very dear friend Grace and her fiance, Mark. Grace and I have had the pleasure of being in the same small group for the past year, and also in the same accountability group. We've shared praises, prayers, fears, sins, and more than anything, a deep love for God and His Word. I love, love, love her.


Ceremony
            The ceremony was not in the Assyrian church, so the only different things that I noticed were mainly in the audience, and also of course, the assyrian homily.  I'll comment first on the cultural differences I noticed, and then more importantly, on the ceremony. My apologies that some of the photos aren't very good quality. I didn't have the best seat for photo taking.


1) Far less attendee's than the reception. The reception had easily 2x the amount of people than the ceremony.


2) Assyrians and (middle easterners in general)  are a noisy bunch. Through talking to my friends at the wedding, they explained that it's not seen as rude to talk during processionals, or essentially when someone like the Pastor or couple are silent. So when Grace and Mark took communion together, everyone, including the Assyrian pastor and bridesmaids started chatting.


3) The wedding ceremony and reception are usually held with hours in between in middle eastern customs. Jason and I were surprised by this. That explained our queries at the beginning.

What I noticed...
a broadly smiling man waiting eagerly. It was clear to me that the other details of a wedding that might distract someone were far from his mind. He was excited to see his bride.







I noticed that each attendant, and the matron of honor (the older sister of one of the amazing girls in my small group)- couldn't stop grinning. That's usually true, it just seemed to really stand out to me in this processional. I can say from personal experience, that there are few things as happy and wonderful than getting to participate in a couple's wedding that you know are made for each other and that God made them that way. Sharing, as a witness to that Covenant, is simply wonderful.

I noticed that as Grace walked down the aisle, given away by her brother, she looked not only absolutely beautiful, but completely serene and so full of peace. And yet at the same time, she looked, well... impatient.  After all, I know her feelings on the day. Though her wedding and reception was well planned, and the guests wonderfully cared for, the day was not about those things. Though there was dancing, and fabulous food, and lots of music, it was about two people coming together before God, and being united through Him.


She wouldn't have cared if something had gone wrong, so long as she was able to marry Mark. Which, she did. :) Yet ready as she was to be a married woman, she took everything in stride, at a pace that was appropriate. She delicately walked down the aisle.

 During the ceremony, I noticed how Grace and Mark sometimes fell into almost forgetting that others were around. Their eyes were for each other, offering smiles and joy- or, as the Assyrian homily said (from what I could gather) and the grace of God to each other. They were talking to each other, laughing at each other, simply enjoying every moment of a very busy and long day. 

I noticed how the Pastor joked how they had already joined hands, because it was so obvious to everyone that there was not an option of not holding each others hands throughout the ceremony. No letting go. 

One of my most favorite photos I was able to get from my middle of the row seat was this one. It captures what their wedding was all about. Submitting, surrendering, coming before Almighty God through the power of the Cross. And, the cross was far more important, and far more emphasized, than either of them. 

They were vessels of God's glory that day. And, I am sure- in the days to come. I am so proud to say that  like the last wedding I went to, it was an event to share the Gospel, proclaim Truth, and to point people to Jesus. 

What higher purpose is there? 

They were charged with no higher calling than to be worthy of the name of Christ. To be His love to each other. To love as Christ demonstrated. To submit. 

There was humor. Grace is a wide variety of facial expressions. 

I love all of them. 

This is an expression I saw many, many times that night. 

So many times I saw her look like at him with an expression that I can guess at. It's one I have a lot too, but especially when Jason reads the Bible to me, or we confess sins to each other. Or when we're in church together. Or when he tells me that soon I'll get a kitty. 

best friend. 

admiration. 

trust. 

respect that has been earned through many trials. 

absolute security. 

faith. 

hope and expectations for the future. 

to name a few facets. 

I loved seeing them pray together. 

From talking to Grace, I know that's a habit of theirs, a good one. 

They had special music, Steven Curtis Chapman's song "I Will Be Here." Mark sang all the words to his wife, though only she could hear. 

Reception
   A few quick photos of the setting... and the cake :)

Now I have to say that I was thrilled to go to this reception. I'd been told by the girls in my small group some of the Assyrian traditions, like the assyrian wedding scarves. I hope to make them at some point, it would be a wonderful experience and project.  

Here are some more photos of them that I could find. It was surprisingly difficult to find on the internet. I did however, find the most amusing video of an old white man doing a "wedding napkin dance."  I had to share. 

So I knew that the women would dance with those scarves, which make a ton of noise. The men dance with canes that have beads all over them as well. 

 Here, the women were getting ready for something: The entrance of the King and Queen of the night, as I found out- as soon as the bride and groom entered.


As soon as they entered, they were swallowed.


That's what I could describe it anyways. They were immediately surrounded by dancing women, doing a traditional wedding entrance dance, called the Khigga.  As mentioned prior, the women danced with yalekhta, the men copala.  They entered, also dancing enthusiastically, dancing all the way to their cake, where they cut it together. 


It then turned into a giant line dance. This line dance wove around tables, in and out of the reception doors, always moving. Led by the guy holding the large copala, he was a great dancer. 


The music and dancing was wonderful to watch, though hard to figure out. The step pattern was a mix of side to sides and front to backs, all in a left left then right right left left right left right constantly switching. Over the night Jason seemed to kind of get the hang of it, I just... well, faked it. In my defense, at least I tried it, and I did have a ton of fun, but I couldn't tell who to follow, and I couldn't see people's steps half the time. It was not ideal learning conditions. 


Eventually the bride and groom made it to their table, where they continued to dance and clap along while the guests line danced all over the place. 


What I noticed... 


Mark is not Assyrian. But aside from not looking the role, you wouldn't have known that. He certainly seemed to enjoy the dances and festivities just as much if not more than any Assyrian there. He also knew his stuff.  He had clearly put in time and effort. 


I know from Grace that he's been learning the language, not only speaking it, but also reading and writing, which some of my Assyrian small group ladies can't even do. Impressive, for many reasons, two being... 


1) It's always difficult to understand, let alone embrace and participate in a culture that is not your own. 


2) Mark went the extra mile here, more than any of us can probably ever know. I know that it was not an easy integration of two families, Grace's background being Assyrian, his being Korean. Some took marrying outside of the Assyrian "clan" as not right, and rather than give up, or make Grace shoulder all the burden of mediating between her husband and her culture, he is making so many important (and cool) aspects of her culture his. 


I've only met him once. At the wedding.  But you don't have to know a person for a grand amount of time to tell some very fundamental things about them.  I know that Mark loves Jesus Christ. I know that Mark is striving (and succeeding I'd say) at loving her as Jesus loved the church. 


Most Awesome Part of Reception
   How can I tell those things? Apart from witnessing them together, the praises Grace has given me over the months? One large indicator was one of the coolest things I've ever seen at a wedding. 


After the toasts and well wishes from his father, and the best man and matron of honor, the MC announced that Mark would like to address the guests. He and Grace stood together... and he promised to only speak for 2 minutes. 


They thanked the guests... and then said that they wanted to share something with us, and had agreed that now was the time to do it. 


The union they had just covenanted became so clear in this moment. 


With Mark leading, and speaking the words they both had chosen and whole heartedly believed together, they shared the Gospel. The Truth of Scripture. The love of Jesus Christ. The Good News. He said he knew there were lots of different faiths and belief systems in the room, but that God had revealed Himself in the Bible, and wanted sinners to be reconciled with Him. 


To be honest, I don't remember the exact points that they shared. I remember with absolute clarity the feeling that I was bursting with pride over my friends (Mark and I were friends by the point, even though he probably still doesn't know it!) and their amazing testimony to our Savior. Myself, and the other members of my table, most of whom were all members of Harvest- heartily "Amen'd!" during his speech. It was not voluntary, but essential. We were told later that it gave them much needed encouragement. I was thrilled to be a help in such an awesome thing. 

Then came a few American traditions- the bride danced with her brother, and the groom then cut in. I was surprised that it was Rascal Flats for the first song, and a Christian song I didn't know for the second. I think I expected something Assyrian. 


I didn't know the words, but I caught many of them- it was about God's design in bringing two lives together. 
Mark knew all the words, and sang them to his wife. 


Congratulations to both of you!! I am proud to know such wonderfully vibrant, faithful people. I look forward to our next encounters with a ton of excitement, and knowing that our friendship is already built upon the best foundation.