Summary of Sept-Jan

This is the obligatory post that says "I haven't blogged since... July? August? who knows when, and now I'm back." You'll notice that I left out that I'm sorry I left it so sadly neglected.

The fact is, that when real life gets too busy to chronicle it in the digital life, that may be a sign to pay attention to reality. Notably, so many things are worth recording, and sharing- and there are many things I wish I had! But I am not that great at juggling so many things, so I had to choose.

So, what happened since my last post?

She always wanted to see lava in Hawaii,
so my dad took her there last Christmas. 

- September: I visited my mom in Colorado, didn't go so well. Ended up having to leave early and returned discouraged and frustrated. Once I returned, a major opportunity opened and I became a small group leader for young women in our church. We currently meet Wednesday's in Jason and my apartment. The immense joy, growth, and blessing that comes from this is beyond words, and clearly beyond summarizing.

-October: my grandmother, Lois; passed away from a heart attack and stroke. I flew up to Alaska just in time to be with her and family when she died, and to help take care of some of her affairs. I learned a lot about the legal and medical side of death, and again witnessed the further evidences of my family being broken apart.

-November: Celebrated a relatively quiet month- meaning no flying and relatively no travel. Had a very nice Thanksgiving with friends and their family. Meanwhile, my parents divorce was scheduled to be finalized literally the day before Thanksgiving, and due to my mother having to go the emergency room- did not finalize.

-December: My father's Christmas gift to Jason and I were tickets to Alaska. So for Christmas and New Year's we got to fly there and spend time with my dad's side of the family, whom Jason had never met- since he had never been to Alaska and none of them were able to come to our wedding. It was a love/hate trip: I was so excited to see family and to show Jason Alaska, which will always have a part of my heart. I am tied to that place more than any place on this earth, though these past two years have been God growing me; to the extent that saying I am tied to any place on this earth really doesn't mean much anymore. And yet the trip was one of the most stressful I have ever experienced, as continued sin leads to pain,  hurt, discouragement, anger, frustration, brokenness, blindness, stubbornness, and further destruction of my family.

-January: Jason and I returned home to Chicago, both remarking on the miracle that Chicago is, indeed home for us. We returned exhausted, struggling to recover from the emotional and physical weariness, and yet full of joy. Returning to our church, our friends (mainly from our small groups)- was the most encouraging thing that could have helped us. Once again, God was clear in that our time here in Chicago is focusing on our growth, His process of sanctification in our lives and that our church is why we are here. We've been unpacking, sleeping, working. This weekend Matthew, Jason's younger brother is in town visiting so they can attend our church's Men's Conference together- what a blessing!

Reading those posts, it sounds so incredibly- without hope or without joy. And I need to be absolutely clear that that is not the case! The past few months have been busy, full, sometimes with good and often with pain. However, through them we have only seen more and more of how faithful God is. That He has revealed Himself to us in new ways; His truth, provision (financially, with mentors and leaders, a church body that constantly convicts, edifies, encourages and prays for us, with friends who help us) and most of all: that He has lead us through all of it. Scripture tells us that life is difficult, that we will have trials! And that these are to grow our faith.

I can testify that my faith is growing. I know that through every single painful conversation, through every single incredibly awkward moment, through the bleak state of things- that God is with me, and is bringing me through all. I know that He is building in me a powerful testimony that I have faith will be used to inspire and help others, just as He used others to help and inspire me.

 I know that Jason and I would not trade these months for anything.
I'd also like to share the testimony of a guy I go to church with. May it bring you hope and remind you of the power of the God we serve.


God at Work - Alex Callaway from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

Honoring parents: when it's difficult

I know that I have lots of things to catch up on with this blog, and I am thrilled to be entering fall, a season of (hopefully) less travel so I can have some time at home. 
However, I wanted to post about something the Lord has been teaching me this past year; along with how to be more loving, more gracious- more generous. The prompt was a blog post from my pastor, James Macdonald, found here. It's on honoring your parents; something with which I've always struggled. 

It's also been an issue that I've seen continually come up in my women's small group; the puzzle of honoring parents, even when they're in sin; or aren't Christians, so their counsel may not always be best or wise. What does it look like to disagree with your parents but still honor them, and honor Christ? 
His article helped clarify some of those things, at least for me. 


First he starts out with what it doesn't mean- and I hurt for individuals who have been wounded by their parents; physically or psychologically, or even taken advantage of financially. I personally know quite a few people who have had to deal with serious things because of their parents: and then wondered, how can I still be honoring to the Lord? How can I love my mother or father without enabling them? Or without putting myself at risk? 

First, honoring our parents does not mean to go back groveling and seeking their approval (again). Children need to get freed from my-parents’-approval bondage.

Secondly, it does not mean to make yourself vulnerable to their hurtful behavior. Sometimes appropriate boundaries between children and abusive parents are necessary. But the need for that boundary does not free us from the obligation of honoring our parents. 

Thirdly, honoring our parents does not mean ignoring or denying the past.  

At the end of the day; this is what I have really learned, and what I hope to hold fast to. 

It means choosing to place great value upon our relationship with them. It means not kidding myself into thinking that my parents don’t matter to me. It involves taking the initiative to improve the relationship whatever its current condition. And it means recognizing what they have done right. You say, “They haven’t done a lot right.” They have done something right, even if it’s little more than giving you life (that’s big). So, express that recognition. Acknowledge the sacrifices that they have made for you. Honoring includes seeing them as Christ does, with compassion and mercy. It means forgiving them as Christ has forgiven you.

This past year one of the key verses that I've returned to time and time again has come from 

How will they know unless we show them? 

2 Timothy 1: 6-7: " Therefore, I remind you to keep ablaze the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." 
 Through the power of the Holy Spirit alive within me: I have a supernatural capacity for love. I draw my capability for human interaction not from myself! It's not coming from my own strength or energy, but rather the Holy Spirit is the gap between what God calls and desires of me, and what I can do on my own. 


Through studying this, and earnestly seeking to be a more loving person- I have seen my heart be changed. I feel like I have been freed from a callous and jaded temperament, and am able to really serve now. I can get out of the way, when my human and wicked desires prompt me to be cruel or self-serving, or even to react focusing on my hurt when wronged. 


Again, it comes back to the perspective of how to live: Glorifying our Savior, Jesus Christ. In All things. 


" Now the end of all things is near; therefore: be clear headed and disciplined for prayer. Above all, keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, his speech should be like the oracles of God; if anyone serves, his service should be from the strength God provides, so that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To Him belong the glory and power forever and ever. Amen. " 

1 Peter 4:7-11

This Saturday I am flying to Colorado to see my mom! First time I have seen her since my wedding, nearly a 1 1/2 years ago. She's had some rather serious health issues, and is having a knee surgery in Denver. I'll have the privilege to help her out after her surgery, hopefully to encourage her, help her recover, but more importantly; honor her and honor Christ. I go knowing that I will be strengthened to do this by the same God that wants me to do it. He is always faithful. 

Recipe: Grilled Summer Squash Pizza with Goat Cheese

Persian bread pizza

Recently, I came across this post from a dear fellow Hannah with whom I went to college. It won me over instantly, as I love... pizza... and all forms of cheese... and squash. And, as I had just bought a ton of summer squashes, it seemed the perfect timing. 


So, my own variation, determined by my own tastes and available ingredients. I made 3 variations total, one grilled, and two in the oven since our grill was not large enough. Ingredients listed below should make between 2-3 pizzas. I used yogurt with the sauce as well as the cheese to reduce the caloric content, and to make it easier to spread on the bread. 


Grilled/Baked Citrus Summer Squash and Goat Cheese Pizza


-pizza dough, or in my variation; I used Persian bread and then 2 large pieces of Indian naann. 
-8oz of goat cheese
-2 cups of Greek yogurt, nonfat
-juice and zest of 1/2 lime, 1/2 lemon
-fresh basil leaves

-2-3 medium sized yellow squash and zuchini mix
-salt, pepper, ground coriander, paprika, lemon pepper
-olive oil




1- If you are using something that is already baked, like I did, then you will want to cook your squash ahead of time. I sliced the squash quickly using my food processor, and then roasted them in the oven using a non-stick cookie sheet for about 25 minutes at 450 degrees. I put them all in a single layer, drizzled olive oil on them, and then spiced them with salt, lemon pepper, coriander, thyme, and paprika. 


2- Pizza sauce: Again, using my food processor, I mixed the Greek yogurt and goat cheese together until nice and creamy, and easily spreadable. I added a bit of citrus juice and zest to taste. Add in a little lemon pepper and salt. 

My dear friend Angela

3- Heat your grill or oven- prepare it for the pizza! 


4-Spread the cheese/yogurt sauce on the pizza base, and then arrange the basil leaves intermittently. Place the squash circles on concentric, overlapping circles. I believe in doing multiple layers, since food processors get squash quite thin. 


5- Grill/bake until the edges of the squash look a bit crispy, and until it has heated. Enjoy!

I made other variations as well; one with fresh tomato, feta, and avocado. This seemed to be a hit, but in retrospect, put the tomato and avocado on after baking- the nice fresh flavor is diluted with the heat. 


What are some of your summer favorites? 

Wedding: Jody Lent and Rachel Keller

For a season, Jody Lent was in my life everyday.

Jodi and Jody: two dear friends of mine. One scary,
 one even more scary. Who is who depends on the day.

 Our last year of college was spent together a great deal, no one wants to eat at the college cafeteria, and no one wants to eat alone. It was a practical arrangement: we'd take our trips to Wal-Mart and Kroger together, he would often provide ingredients for meals I would cook for both of us.

We'd spend evening sitting on the roof outside my room talking about everything- past, present, future... our weaknesses and our strengths. Both of us were going to live in Chicago post-graduation, so we knew it was a friendship that would last beyond the alma mater.

 When I got married, Jody did one of the kindest things for Jason and I, and moved all of my stuff to our new apartment in Chicago: including carrying it up to the second floor. His gift to us was not letting us pay my share of the u-haul. What a blessing!

Recently Jody was married in Cleveland, to an incredibly cheerful woman named Rachel. Jason and I were both in the wedding, even though when I was asked- I'd never met the bride! It was the sort of thing one does knowing glimpses of the future: of knowing of all of our entwining paths in Chicago.

The wedding weekend was really full: we were staying in Akron, with our good friends the Facklers, at their grandparents house on the lake. It was so beautiful, and definitely was one of the highlights of the summer thus far. I got to feed baby ducks, swim in a beautiful lake, and witness fireworks under the stars. It's almost impossible to see stars in Chicago.

But we were there as witnesses to their wedding. For Jason and I, this wedding was different than most others this summer, for the simple reason that instead it being a culmination of many things we've already witnessed and been a part of, it was the beginning.

Photo by Rob Lent

We didn't know Rachel. But we knew we would. We hadn't seen their lives grow together, leading to engagement and marriage, but we knew we would see the next steps. We hadn't even seen Jody and Rachel interact much, since a great deal of their relationship was long distance until the wedding... but we knew we would.


We know we will.

Recipe: Homemade Hummus from fresh Chickpeas

I love hummus.
There's two really important components to hummus: flavor, and texture. One is immensely easy, the other... that's where the effort comes in.

The main ingredients in hummus are chickpeas, olive oil, and tahini. Variations that I think also are essential include lemon juice, salt, lemon pepper, paprika, cumin, and usually a little ground coriander.

I've made hummus before just using a can of cooked chick peas, and food processing it with the other ingredients. The flavor is good- the texture... not so much.
 Without a high powered blender, it comes out grainy, and very unlike the smooth and delicious hummus that I can buy very, very cheaply around Evanston/Skokie.
I bought uncooked, but shelled garbanzo beans at my local market (favorite place ever)... and proceeded to hull them.

This process was so annoying. It took a very long time.

What I did was to soak them in hot water for about 20 minutes, and then individually take the little hull off of every bean. It was a miserable experience. In hindsight, this would have been much easier after they were cooked. Silly Hannah. 
However, it was key. My hummus turned out excellent. It's not quite perfected, but as that I don't have an immersion blender (yet) it's definitely the best I can get with my amazing food processor.

Step one: Cook the beans, until very tender. Then cool them (or wear heat resistent gloves) and hull them. Place in food processor, and give a good blending.

Step two: Ingredient adding time! I add to taste largely. The olive oil and tahini, as well as lemon juice will also highly influence the consistency of the hummus.
 For olive oil, I use a special, fresh pressed kind of olive oil that I can buy from my other favorite market. They make it themselves, and it tastes amazing. Also very cheap, which sounds incredulous, I know.

The tahini I also get there, it comes with  great recipes on the back of the bottle for hummus and tahini dressing as well.  Here's a picture of my typical hummus spicing.

Lemmon Pepper
Granulated Garlic
Salt
Cumin
Ground Coriander
Paprika
Thyme

The result was a creamy textured, smooth hummus that tasted fantastic. Served to my middle eastern friends it even got the ok! It took a while to get it down, but it's the little tricks to cooking that make all the difference.

I'm back

all from your friendly lost in a city girl

July was such a busy month that I didn't have time to record my journeys here. But I do have catch up to do! Coming soon:

-Recipe: homemade hummus from raw chick peas
-Recipe: grilled and baked summer squash pizza with goat cheese sauce
-Currently reading: updates on those books I've been tackling
-Neat finds: thrift store victories
-Weddings: Cleveland and Columbus
-My life: updates on family, and how the Lord has drawn me into ministry in my church
-The ongoing song challenge
-A fun new thing: interviews! I hope to post interviews with some newly married couples, those about to be, and  the current Miss Cook County, etc.
-health updates
-new skill: sewing! The ongoing learning process.

Stay tuned. It's going to be a great August.

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

"For The Morning" Alli Rogers.
Where am I?

I'm in my college dorm room, or anywhere at college, studying and just trying to make it through the night. It might be an all nighter, or just until 3am. It might be any subject, but chances are it's my psych classes, pushing through cognitive the neurobiology until I just can't anymore. It's black outside, no sounds except the turning of pages or creating of note cards.

It's also driving at night- in the rain. When my passenger is asleep, and there's nothing but the miles under my tires. When it just stretches on forever.

the song captures that desperation when I'm just waiting for the morning to get there.
a reminder that God's mercies are, indeed... new every morning. Praising God even when it's midnight.
That desperate plea for hope.